The next step

Monday night is Family Dinner night. Danni comes over and we all sit down for dinner, we are going to have to change the day with college classes Mondays are not working.

Last night we sat and talked about general stuff but then moved into talking about the wedding. Everyone will have jobs, big or small; everyone will have something to do. Its looking like it will be a small affair which will be nice. I have told her that I will not put up with any snide remarks from her step-mom but also I wont be the one that makes her leave … I will make sure someone else has that pleasure.

It is odd talking to her about what she wants for her wedding how she sees it what she hopes it to be… My hope for her is that she is relaxed and enjoys her day; I also hope that it is everything she wants it to be. So many people have asked to be a part of her day that I think she is a little overwhelmed and it goes back to trying to make it smaller event. Hard to do with just the massive size of our family and that doesn’t count her fathers side of the family. She is wondering if some people would be offended it they are asked to leave kids at home. She is figuring if the kids don’t know who she is then why should the kids be at the wedding? I understand that thought but then I think that the kids or the families are part of the community that you as a married couple will be living in, and making your own family for. But I understand space constraints. What I have told her and what I will continue to tell her is it doesn’t matter what happens, what matters is that at the end of the day they are married. She doesn’t want drama, I understand that. She will not be able to control others but what she will have is people around her to make sure she doesn’t know that the cake is wrong, or that no one has shown up due to a traffic issue, or that the toasting glasses aren’t here, or that the flowers didn’t get done until hours before the wedding. Many things that past brides didn’t even know were going on until much later. (In some cases MONTHS later)

This year will be a big one… she turns 21 and she gets married. For BOTH of us. A big year.

New School Year

School started this week… for all the kids. Two are now in college and one in 3rd grade, it doesn’t seem possible. I found myself getting all teary eyed when I watched my son go on his merry way to college. He was excited and joyful to go to school; it reminded me of his first day of preschool, kindergarten, middle school and high school. None of my kids have ever had a problem with going to school leaving Mom and the ‘nest’, if fact they have all run in headlong into the next adventure. I didn’t cry when he graduated from High school (ok I didn’t cry much) but some how him going to college gives me reason to pause and think about this little boy who is quickly becoming a Man, one that I am proud of, very proud. Now he has had the first week of college and he has found out that teachers don’t like it when you are late and that you have to read the college catalog to make sure you sign up for classes that don’t require a pre requisite, small lessons.

I think about the next few years, he will continue going to college and maybe even make it overseas to school. My daughter will get married and continue school. The youngest will continue happily along always working to do better. Meanwhile my eldest he will be working hard as well and I couldn’t be prouder of all of my kids, the three I have raised and the one that I didn’t have the privilege to raise but love just as much. The next couple of years will be ones of great change. When the kids were in school (regular school) things didn’t really change you know they changed teachers or schools but they were at home and all the issues were the same, but now they have other things to consider and broader choices. The family will change and in ways that makes me happy and sad at the same time.

I am the first of my group of friends to have kids that are old enough to move out and move on… its scary, fun, and a little lonely. I am not opposed to the kids growing up in fact I LOVE IT. I guess I am getting closer and closer to the time that I will need to figure out who I am without the kids. Where I fit in, hopefully I have done that to some degree. Identified who I am, I am not just a Mom, but more than that.

I still have time the youngest doesn’t even get out of High School for another nine years. :)