23 Years

23 Years ago I held him in my arms. He was born and I understand that while I was in labor the waiting room filled up with all kinds of people. Friends and Family were waiting for him to be born. Boasts where made, wagers placed but once he was born all that mattered was that he was alive and he that had his birth-father's nose. The hospital let us do things that were not normally done, everyone that had waited for his arrival was able to see him; I was kept in the delivery room way past time for me to be moved to my room. I had some time when it was just he and I where I told him just how much I loved him, how I hoped that some day he would understand, forgive me, and want to see me again. Then his Mom and Dad came in, they were so happy I don't think she ever stopped smiling. It gave me peace. The hospital allowed our friends and family meet him, to see him. They did it again on the day that we both were released from the hospital, we were able to see him one more time, hold him, and allow his Great-great-grandmother meet him. Again I knew what I was doing was right that they were right.

Yesterday I met him again. I was given a chance to know my Son. He wanted to know me, to know his siblings. To be part of our lives. I am blessed. Spending the day with him was beyond everything I could imagine. I found out things that we shared traits, likes, dislikes and hobbies. Things that he does or says are very much like his birth-father. He punched a hole in the ceiling to make the neighbors be quite much to the delight of Fiona, she thinks he is very strong. His laugh sounds like his birth-father. He reads like I do, even some of the same books, even let Brennan borrow some books. Danni and he have taken the same sociology class they even traded ideas and authors names. I watched him talk with Danni and Brennan about all kinds of things. I watched his face, he has my eyes, my Grandfathers chin, my curly hair and of course his birth-father's nose. I found my self just watching him listening to him. He talked about things that we agreed on like how books are better than the movies they are based or how he likes fish and hates large cities.

I gave him up for adoption when I was 17. It was the single hardest thing that I ever did in my life. He was always a part of me, someone that I have thought about all the time. I almost never thought that I would get the chance to meet him to be a part of his life. But he hugged me, he called me Mom, he told me he loved me and admired me. And I held him for the first time in 23 years.